Having Kids Made Me A Better Teacher

Being a parent makes me a better teacher. Yes, I know that not everyone will agree with that statement but hear me out. Teachers, as with any professional, have various events, relationships, and experiences that shape their professional identity. Simply put, we turn out to be the teachers we are largely due to a lifetime of experiences that influence us in one way or the other. I realize we have formal training, but let’s be honest, that really does not do anything to make us better teachers. I learned a great deal of history content, but the craft of teaching was learned in the hours of observations and student teaching. For me, I need to DO something in order to learn it and get good at it.


The first few years I taught, I was mediocre at best. I didn’t know what I didn’t know. By the third year, I felt like I was finally starting to earn my paycheck. Kids were engaged, parents didn’t hate me, and I had built a great relationship with my peers. However, one of the biggest things that had a positive impact on my teaching was when I had children of my own.

Now this is not to say my instruction or teaching strategies changed because they didn’t. However, I have a different perspective in not only how to deal with kids but also with parents. When you put your child on a bus and send them off to school for the first time like I did last year, it hits you. It is not an easy thing to send your child off to a relatively perfect stranger. There is an anxiety and almost fear that first day. Will my child make friends? Will he get picked on? Will he be a bully? Will he pee his pants? Will the teacher find his sense of humor that was greatly influenced by his father funny or appropriate? All of those questions and many more went through my head as I am sure it does nearly every parent that sends their kid to school.

Having gone through that anxiety and the struggles of sending a kid to school, I can relate to parents on a new level. For starters, when I talk to parents I have common ground as a parent myself. There is a certain amount of credibility in what I say because I have been in their shoes. If you don’t have kids yourself, can you look in a parent’s eyes and tell them you know how they feel? I share openly of my own experiences with my student’s parents and that often opens a door of communication and rapport that was not possible before.

In addition to the parents, I approach how I deal with kids much differently. I am not going to say I ever wrote a kid off, but there were certainly kids that burned me out and pushed me to my limits. If I am being honest, I got to a point where I pulled away and put less effort into them. That is no longer the case. How would I feel if a teacher ever gave up in the slightest bit with my kid? I try to make every effort to treat each kid as my own. I go out f my way to connect to the quiet kid and the kids that don’t typically stand out. What kind of teacher would I want for my kids? That is the type of teacher I try to be. I know I will continue to work on this and evolve my thinking as my own kids get older, but it is a start.

Again, did my teaching change when I had kids? Not really…but my perspective did and how I approach my relationships with both parents and students. I am not saying teachers without kids are bad teachers. Nor am I saying that those with kids are better. What I will say is that having kids gives you insight and perspective that you cannot have otherwise.

Death of Principal

Below is a eulogy for my former principal Pam who passed on at the end of this past school year.


What can I say about Pam? She was a teacher, innovator, leader and friend whose absence will be felt long after she is gone. A few months ago she announced that she would be leaving our world and heading to the next phase of life. The news was met with anger and bitterness that has given way to grief and sadness.


The beauty of Pam and her work is that it will live on long after she is gone. It will live on in the leadership team that she nurtured and fostered. The academic leaders she trained and empowered will keep the building moving with positive momentum for years to come. In addition, the countless teachers that she guided and trained to be better than they were or ever thought they could be.


Teachers who had the honor or working with her knew the expectations were high. That is not to say she expected good test scores and high achieving grades. That was not her goal. She wanted every child that walked through her doors to have an experience fit for her own two daughters. Every child that sat in a desk in her school was part of a family and that was priority one. Teachers knew this expectation and worked to provide the best possible learning and personal experience possible and never settled for anything less.


Innovation was not a buzz word for her, but a way of living. She challenged staff and students to always be looking for a better way to learn, teach and grow. She never settled for, “that is the way things have always been done” and always challenged us to be better. As a result, new programs came into existence to help students with reading and math. Days such as Innovation Day were supported and encouraged. Unique scheduling and team teaching flourished. All of these moves were made with one goal in mind. Do what is right for kids. Students and teacher’s felt safe to try something new and failure was supported as a learning tool.


Even as I say all of these nice things about Pam, she was not loved by all who worked with her. Some lazy teachers were not happy with her constant pushing and high expectations. Other teachers that liked things the way they were are happy to see her go and will attempt to go back to their old ways. Some parents are happy with her departure as well. These are the parents that like to call and yell at teachers about grades, curriculum and a whole host of athletic related issues. But for those of us that truly “got it”, her legacy will live on and we will continue to hold high expectations and will refuse to take one step backwards.


Many would think Pam was a micro manager that oversaw every little detail of her school but that was not the case. She stepped back and gave the power to her teachers and her students. She knew who to stand close to and who to give some room to work. The truly remarkable part of her leadership was that she allowed others in her building to be leaders. Through thoughtful conversations and actions, many of which went unnoticed, Pam created an environment where it was encourage to step up and be great for kids and for each other. She celebrated the good and never settled for less than the best for the students and staff in her school.


As Pam leaves us, countless inspired and empowered teachers are left in her wake. Families that she touched through her work and the work of her staff will be forever grateful. Her true influence will live on far after she is gone and her true impact is something that is near impossible to put into words.


Pam graced our school and our community and ultimately she graced the lives of those who knew her and worked with her.

For those all too literal readers, Pam is not dead. She is simply leaving our school to grace the halls of a new school in the fall and surely continue doing great work there.